here is always vanishing


a large intermedia work centering recorded sound, hiav is a web of records, poems and images on memory and presence.

much was difficult before coming out as trans, including releasing the solo records i was continually drafting: they were documents of a voice and body which felt other, not my own. now, this veil lifted, i thread present and past towards an autobiography of affinities, a personal history in sound. far from an archival project, it is an ongoing weaving. a hybrid prose and poetry manuscript lies at the hidden center.

hiav takes its title from a poem read in and lending its name to a reading series about childhood memories of place, organized with friends in a brooklyn loft. an adapted form of this poem later appeared prominently in ghost, dir. asa horvitz, by and with myself, wayne horvitz, and carmen q. rothwell, which premiered in vienna and the netherlands and was supported by the muziekgebouw.

a list of chapters to date appears below. chapters vary in length from ‘singles’ to double albums. inquire for details.

h.00 – theory of a young-girl        [lp]
h.01 – monongahela                   [lp]
h.02 – environment and object        [lp]
h.03 – 10,000 acres                  [single]
h.04 – chemical sunrise              [ep]
h.05 – oshun fill'd w/leaves         [lp]
h.06 – hungry                        [single]
h.07 – polymetric polar vortex       [lp]
h.08 – this skin                     [lp]
h.09 – untongue                      [ep]
h.10 – a gentle armor                [lp]
h.11 – the floating world            [2x lp]
h.12 – post-808                      [ep]
h.13 – in glorious color             [lp]
h.14 – release                       [lp]
h.15 – lieblich gedeckt              [lp]
h.16 – image of a blue thumbs-up     30'
h.17 – her water dream               35'
h.18 – three bardos                  47'
h.19 – three dances                  [lp]
h.20 – when time shall be no more    [ep]
h.21 – in the darkness               [lp]
h.22 – mean girl                     [ep]
h.23 – our mouths are spring         51'
h.24 – while it burns                [lp]
h.25 – the long shadow of love       [2x lp]
h.26 – little flames                 [ep]
h.27 – trinity swarm                 [ep]
h.28 – [hold]                        [lp]
h.29 – hellbender                    [single]
h.30 – the black sun of your eyes    [lp]

h–img.01 – t, oil stick on paper, 2021
h–img.02 – the soldier, oil stick on paper, 2021

h–txt.01 – monster zero ultra:
           the collected poems of __________ (1984-2019)